Bock in movie, the has been rock star
BARN OF THE BLOOD LLAMA
Edited and Directed by Kevin West, Barn of the Blood
Llama (1997) is an irreverent comedy by Kirk L. Hunter, Earl
Saathoff, Kelley Swinney and West that pokes fun at the bad
drive-in sci-fi movies of days gone by.
There's implied sex, incest and beastiality with a science
fiction score and a hillbilly melody. Add to that the spattering of
colorful characters and micellaneous film stock that varies from
black-and-white, to color and your choice of hues (i.e., sepiatone)
and you got yerself a toe-tappin' humdinger of a good time on
video (or not).
This is not great cinema. Hell, it ain't even good enough to
be considered bad cinema, but not bad for a no budget, fun romp
through a silly Llama farm called the World O Wool, where we meet local Animal Coroner, Dr.
Albert (Kelly Swinney) as he's porkin' the daylights out'a his favorite love-Llama, Bessie Sue.
Janet (Lucinda Hinton) and Bea (Kirsten Carter) are a pair o' horny country gals who
pick-up hitchhikers and yee-ha with 'em in the back seat.
Bessie Sue makes a break for it. Lost, animal lover, Toni (Lucinda Cruse) runs into
Bessie-Sue-on-the-loose with her car, fatally wounding the Llama. Dr. Albert happens upon the
scene and is heartbroken. Toni's car is messed-up so she catches a ride to the World O Wool.
Janet and Bea give flailing rock-star-has-been and one-hit-wonder Bock (Earl Saathoff) a
lift to the ranch so that he can receive his youth treatments from the wacky Dr. Albert. He steals
$700 from the girls to pay the Doctor.
A funeral is held for Bessie-Sue who is buried at sea in a coffin that looks as if it had been
made by a giant cookie cutter in the shape of a Llama.
There's an "obligatory music video" followed by wild, blood thirsty Llamas - spewing toxic
cud - on a murderous rampage, triggered by a menstruating woman. The mutated Llamas are the
result of Dr. Albert's experiment synthesizing a youth regeneration serum derived from animal
hormone... something to do with hatching Llama clones from Wool-covered eggs.
The mutant Llamas begin to take on human traits, steal cars, hide bodies, rape (wearing
sheepskin prophylactics) and pillage, while the girls, turned kickboxing-ninja-babes, defend the
camp by using can-lids as ninja stars and Jug (Kevin West) the cook, serves up barbequed
Llama innards, happy meal-style. The story takes a twist at the accidental discovery of day-glow
wool.
Jug holds the secret to destroying the mutant Llamas, which involves resurrecting his
deam momma (G. K. McFarland), whom he killed and buried in the backyard because she would
only have sex with his younger brother Gibby (Kirk Hunter).
Toni escapes but may have a growing super-mutant-llama-hybrid growing inside her ...
could there be .... a Blood Llama sequel yet to come?
Have you seen this movie? Tell us what you thought and share with other Video Addicts, or
send an e-mail to thoughts@videoaddicts.com with the film's title in the SUBJECT line.
View Previous Column
No comments:
Post a Comment